Family Therapy / Parental Support

Providing Support and Training for Parents

The Feelings Teacher provides an informal, non-judgemental, safe and secure therapy which can also include all loved ones, one or both parents, parent and child, whichever way works best for the family. Counselling sessions can provide you with the support and resources you need to be the best parent you can be. 

Sometimes, working with just the child is not enough and we need to look at the whole family system, and their relationships. By providing a safe, non-judgemental environment The Feelings Teacher enables family members to express and explore difficult thoughts and emotions safely, helping them understand each other’s experiences and views, appreciate each other’s needs and build on their strengths. It can help with many issues that affect the family unit, helping people make useful changes in their relationships and their lives.

From the moment we find out we will be a parent, we start receiving many suggestions on how to raise our children. Doctors, health visitors, friends and even complete strangers provide information and opinions about health and safety, how and when to feed your child and what is the best time to put them to sleep. Media sources and books offer extensive and many times conflicting advice on parenting. Family members may also have different ideas depending on cultural backgrounds and previous experiences.

It is Overwhelming!

Parenting may become more challenging when a child shows difficult behaviour to manage, or if the child has a special need. It can be hard to cope, they may find it tricky to give the other children equal attention which may lead to parents feeling guilty and with greater levels of stress. 

Another factor which may increase behavioural problems, is when parents are not united, this may mean that there is not effective communication amongst them. It can send confusing messages to children who become unsure of what their parents expect from them. Their reaction may be inconsistent and challenging behaviour. 

As parents we do everything for our children and every so often we forget about ourselves. At the Feelings Teacher we encourage parents to ‘find themselves’ again. Your child doesn’t want you to give up your dreams, to become a different person. One of the most important parts of raising a child is to inspire them, to give your child tools to grow by growing with them.

How do I Know I Need Help Parenting?

There is no shame in seeking help, if you decide to do so, it doesn’t mean you are a ‘bad parent’, just means that you are brave enough to ask for help. In fact, turning to parent support is the first step in providing your children with a secure and stable environment whilst feeling more empowered and accomplished yourself. 

Parenting can be tough, and it can trigger or worsen your stress level, even if you consider yourself an easy going and calm adult. Common life stress when combined with lack of sleep and some lifestyle choices, may lead to parenting difficulties.

 

Parenting Styles

The Feelings Teacher parent support focuses on the discipline window in order to easily explain different parenting styles and the possible consequences for each one.

1 – Doing TO – High in boundaries and low in nurture

When talking to children about parenting styles, often they consider this method as the most effective, however by focusing on the behaviour rather than the emotions generating the behaviour and being motivated to control and regain the situation may present as punitive and emotion disapproving. Children may display more negative emotions as a form of manipulation, lack of obedience or sign of bad character. Their brain will be in constant fight and flight mode, vigilant and strict. 

2 – Doing nothing – Low in boundaries and nurture

Trying to dismiss negative emotions by considering paying attention to such emotions will make them worse, minimising negative emotions or focusing on getting rid of the emotions with logic rather than understanding the feelings may cause the child to have negative views on emotions in general increasing their anxiety and challenging behaviour. 

3 – Doing For – High in nurture and low in boundaries

Those parents are very loving but provide very few guidelines and rules. They do not expect mature behaviour from children and young people and often seem more like a friend than a parental/educator figure. Their motto is often simply that “kids will be kids.” Or finds excuses for their behaviour or emotions, often blaming on age or conditions. The effect is a continuous or even escalation on challenging behaviour as they connect negative behaviour with good feelings from parents. 

4 – Doing With – high in boundaries and nurture

Those parents are able to use moments of negative behaviour as opportunities for teaching, they accept negative emotions are normal but provide their children strategies to deal with ups and downs building a trusting and respectful relationship. Those parents are well connected with their children. Children feel safe and secure, developing emotional intelligence and achieving better in life.

 

Early Help

As stated by NSPCC Early help, also known as early intervention, is support given to a family when a problem first emerges. It can be provided at any stage in a child or young person’s life.” We provide a proactive hand on support for families without the need to be involved with children’s services. 

Protective factors can reduce risk to a child’s wellbeing. They include:

  • Developing strong social and emotional skills
  • Having a strong social support network for the family – including support
  • Good parental mental health
  • Income support, benefits and advice
  • Good community services and facilities

(EIF, 2018; Cleaver, Unell and Aldgate, 2011).

It is more effective to provide early help when problems first arise than to intervene later (DfE, 2018; EIF, 2018).

How Does it Work?

Parent Support is offered to parents whose children are enrolled in sessions with The Feelings Teacher or who have had sessions in the past. It is important for us to know the children or young people included in the family to understand the dynamic and be able to support everyone. 

Parent Support Therapy includes 1 to 1 sessions with both parents or just the main carer. Most of the time we meet whilst the children are at school, this way we can focus on every important subject without worrying if the children are listening or going to interrupt. Using a very relaxed and collaborative approach, our focus is to empower the parents, enabling them to evaluate the way they manage issues to help the child whilst still being respectful of their values .

Usually we meet either once a week or every fortnight for one hour.

We can help your family on issues such:

  • Family problems divorce, re-location
  • Parent feels insecure or unsure on how to best support their child
  • When parents need guidance related to school
  • Special Educational needs referrals
  • How to deal  with anger management
  • Behaviour regulation
  • Domestic Violence including coercive behaviour
  • Health 

Children, young people or adults may experience several different problems. Sometimes these issues  have been present across generations. 

Where are the sessions delivered?

Parent Support Therapy is delivered at your home or at another address where parents feel more comfortable.

 

“Parenthood is not an easy task and many times you feel like you don’t know how to deal with your child’s behaviour. For us Ines has been an eye opener and has helped us to deal with our child’s emotions and has given us guidance on how to deal with behaviour issues. Any parent would be hugely benefited from her therapy.”

“Ines has been incredibly supportive to the whole family, she is always willing to adapt sessions to respond to real-time situations.”

Inês is not only a coach, she is also a “consultant”. Due to her vast experience in school she has an incredible knowledge of how schools work and has invaluable sources of information. Her support has been exceptional!”

Book an Appointment

Contact us today to find out more and schedule an appointment with Ines Gomes!

Family Therapy, S.E. London